How do you make a Swiss roll?

Push him down a mountain.
Ha ha ha ha ha...

Or, alternatively, you get Mary Berry's Baking Bible, turn to the swiss roll bit and go ahead and make one.
This is another part of the whole 'new year's baking resolution'...

Apart from the fact that it was fused to the paper when I took it out the oven (I used greaseproof, rather than baking parchment...), it seemed to go ok.  Oh, the flour wasn't mixed in properly either.
Not an unmitigated disaster, anyway.
And there's not much of it left now.  It was made for elevenses this morning, and three normal sized slices remain (or two generous ones!).
P'raps the Selfridges strawberry and champagne jam helped :)